Thinking...

Hmmmm.

My brain is really full, and so is my belly. I am a very lucky girl.

My husband and I decided to try out a seafood dinner, and being from the northern end of the south, it's not something we've experienced all too often. But dinner, much to my surprise, worked out wonderfully.

Not only did the food taste great, but the company was even better. Lately (meaning the last three weeks) we've had so much more time to spend together (without stress) as my schedule has finally settled down. And having more time means I'm less on edge and less 'pressured to perform'. My house is finally clean, my laundry done the way I like it, my fridge full of goodies to cook and I'm typing this while watching complete smut on tv (which for me is [adultswim]).

Life couldn't be better. So because of that, it makes me wonder what's to come. I mean, the two of us have been through a really rough year so far - first I had six upper level classes at school, two plays for my minor, two part time jobs, physical therapy for severe pelvic floor muscle spasms, and to top it off (sort of) mom had her first heart attack of the year in February. After she had a triple bypass, she was also diagnosed with diabetes and sent home. A few days later, my mom went back in the hospital with a second heart attack, but they sent her home telling her it was chest wall pain. In mid-March, my husband and I had a major car accident out of state while attempting to visit potential graduate schools. The next morning, mom's back in the ER with her third heart attack of the year; they determined that her bypass veins collapsed and she had to have stints put in. Meanwhile, my husband and I had to take the train home (after being wonderfully taken care of by his mother and stap-father) because flipping a car over deems it totally ruined.

Without health insurance and because I neglected to purchase collision coverage on the car, my husband and I are facing now over ten thousand dollars in medical expenses, and the total is growing. I still have glass growing out of my scalp and an ankle injury that refuses to heal. I'll know what my options are for the ankle in a couple of days. In the meantime I just have to try not to get hooked on pain pills.

I took two incompletes for the spring semester - one I've since finished, and the other is still pending. Yet, through it all I maintained a 3.5 GPA and managed to get enough studying in for the GRE's to manage a halfway decent score.

Work has dried up for my husband, so we're living off of the extra loan money I saved for summer classes. We'll make it through the summer, and at least I can return to some work, though not as much as before. But we had enough guts to splurge on the credit card together for fresh crablegs, shrimp, and other tasty goodies to cook for dinner that just makes the rest of our issues seem manageable.

I mean, after all, life is about getting through and surviving all that's thrown at you and then finding a way to enjoy what's left. If I have to have ankle surgery, then I'll have to continue to be out of work as a cocktail waitress and may not be able to cook as often as I'd like.

It's tough on the feet.

But at least tonight we enjoyed a great evening and a great bottle of wine and deliciously full bellies.

I've forgotten what it's like to have time on my hands, and it's wonderful though a little hard to find something to fill it with. I'm used to either being doped up on pills or slammed with homework, so this is a nice treat.

I'm both hoping and dreading that it will be easy street from here on out, but at the very least I know we have it in us to make the best of it, crab legs and buttery goodness aside.